Last week, I attended a comedy show in NYC that unexpectedly rebuilt my belief in humanity.

Not typically where you’d go looking for hope, given the trope of comedians as despairing, sharp-tongued sh*t-talkers. But this wasn’t a typical show.

I went to see DL+DL Anything Goes, hosted by Don Lemon and DL Hughley, an unlikely pairing with genuine chemistry and mutual respect. Think Martha and Snoop, but on the right side of history.

The timing made it even more poignant. It was the first week of Black History Month, just days after Don Lemon’s arrest while reporting on protests in Minnesota, a jarring development in a country that claims freedom of speech and the press as core values.

Both men were born during the height of the civil rights movement, raised by matriarchs who instilled in them a deep sense of patriotism… and a clear-eyed understanding of how fragile the American project really is.

Listening to them felt less like entertainment and more like recovering the wisdom of elders.

While recounting his arrest, Don said something that stopped me:

“Comfort is poison right now. It may feel good, but it’s corrosive.”

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What does that have to do with you, me, or this note?

The opposite of comfort isn’t discomfort. It’s courage.

Don’s story is a reminder of the futility of trying to craft a clean narrative or a perfect journey. Here is someone who “did it the right way,” worked his way through a stringent corporate media environment, and still got fired. Still got arrested.

So why are we still enamored with the fantasy of the perfect arc when reality keeps disproving it?

After his arrest, I saw another quote circulating again. In 2024, rapper and activist Killer Mike said:

“All my heroes have been in handcuffs.”

He was referencing Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela, Rosa Parks.

No one we celebrate had a tidy journey. Many faced exile, imprisonment, public condemnation, or worse.

And yet.

We still hold ourselves to impossible standards of safety, likability, and perfection. The need to be “twice as good”.

Why? Fear, guilt, shame, the system — a.k.a the usual suspects.

But we don’t have to give fear all the power. At a talk promoting his book, How to Be Bold: The Science of Everyday Courage, Harvard Business School professor Ranjay Gulati said:

“Fear is a reaction, but courage is a decision.”

That distinction matters.

Fear happens to us. Courage is chosen.

Comfort may feel protective. But it also quietly shrinks us. It diminishes what we think is possible.

So maybe the real question isn’t whether fear shows up… It will!

The question is what we decide to do in response. What do you decide?

“Where stories are shared and scripts are rewritten.”

Authenticity is courageous and intentional. But, choosing differently can feel isolating, especially for people navigating cultural, familial, and professional expectations.

At The Unpopular Table, we transform individual acts of bravery into collective belonging. It’s a shared space where courage seekers and courage practitioners see their experiences reflected and normalized. After all, courage multiplies when it’s witnessed, shared, and held in community.

The Unpopular Table will continue to grow its footprint over time, including events, forums, and more. But for now, just know that you’ve got a seat at the table.

In this regular newsletter segment, we will highlight voices from throughout this community. Your vulnerability in email replies, comments, survey responses, and more are seen, witnessed, and appreciated.

Since this week was our first official episode launch, I thought I’d bring you words from recent comments and reviews.

Thank you Charlotte!

Reply to this email to share your thoughts. I read every one.

Until next time, I’m glad you’re here.